“When we love ourselves, we naturally shine, we are naturally beautiful. And that draws others to us. Before we know it, they’re loving us and it’s up to us to choose who to share our love with.”
— Kamal Ravikant
For family oriented types, your loved ones are of utmost importance. You spend your days ensuring they are well taken care of. That’s just what you do, and you’re happy doing it.
But is that commitment to your loved ones causing you to neglect yourself? How many times have you bypassed your own desires for someone else?
It’s completely admirable for you to want to take care of your family and friends. But it’s important to balance that with self-care. You may think it’s impossible, but it’s really easier than it appears.
Here are some guidelines for balancing self-care with caring for loved ones:
1. Be creative with quiet time. If you think inside the box, quiet time means time alone without distractions or responsibilities. If you think outside the box, you’ll be able to paint a completely different picture.
• Instead of foregoing your spa day for babysitting duties, why not take your little one with you? Get mom and daughter pedicures or 2 for 1 back massages. That way, you’re taking care of your loved one and getting well-deserved pampering for yourself.
• Suggest that you and your spouse do movie night at home instead of at the cinema. You’ll get the best of both worlds. A favorite movie with warm and cozy blankets.
• Try scheduling your quiet time when everyone else is asleep or otherwise occupied. You’ll be tempted to get some chores done, but resist the temptation! What’s not done today can be done tomorrow.
2. Get the rest you need. By far, the best way to be of use to your loved ones is to be fresh and rested. When you neglect your rest, you’ll tend to be cranky and impatient.
• Being there physically may not be enough for some people in your life. They can tell when you’re doing it out of routine. That’s definitely not the impression you want to give.
• Avoid feeling guilty about taking a break. There’s no reason to worry while you’re absent. The world can manage to stay intact for a short time while you’re gone.
• Do you know that you can get some of that rest while having quiet time with your family? Cuddling on the couch with your daughter while she watches cartoons is the perfect scenario.
3. Share your needs with your loved ones. The only way your family can understand your position is if you share it with them. Give them a chance to hear from you so your selflessness can be reciprocated.
• Explain to your family members that you like to feel appreciated. They’ll realize that although you enjoy doing things for them, you’d still like to get some recognition.
• Once they’re aware of your needs, you no longer have to worry about satisfying them on your own. With that scenario you can comfortably focus on their needs while they focus on yours.
It’s easy to feel guilty for taking time for yourself, knowing that those special people need something from you. But have you ever stopped to consider what may happen if you’re unable to be there? Not paying enough attention to yourself could result in you being ineffective as a support base.
If they’re truly your loved ones, they’ll understand your needs. Communication is a two way street. It makes a world of difference if you can learn to balance your own needs with those of your loved ones.